A
Malaysian
With good humour
Tomorrow is New Year's eve, time for a laugh at ourselves.
By Neo.
Dec 30, 2006
Hongkies,
Singaporeans, Indonesians and Malaysians
Boring
Saturday, not much plans for today. Let’s enjoy a
hilarious quotes about Hongkies, Singaporeans, Indonesians
and of course Malaysians!
Being
Honkies is good because…
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can talk and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our icon.
4. We can live in a 5' x 5' cubicle and call it luxury apartment.
We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle.
5. Our children can speak Cantonese at a young age.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or Tung Chee
Hwa or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than sex. Macau is the place
to for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of
the rich and famous.
We
love being Singaporean because…
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially the Malaysian) hates us, except
ourselves.
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang
is the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under
our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia - keep
a few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can throw
anything, anytime, anywhere and always wash our cars at
the resort.
7. We can speed up to 180 kilometers per hour and not ending
up with a summon as long as we have RM50 with us to spare.
8. The men are always concerned, first question to ask a
girl “Do you have CPF?”
9. Never fear of getting lost in our country - S$20 taxi
ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We’ll never have to worry about finding Mr or
Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit… nyek nyek nyek.
12. It’s OK to be Kiasu. It’s part of our culture.
Top
reasons for being Indonesian are as follow…
1. We are not Australian.
2. We live in the biggest country in South East Asia.
3. No pirates in Indonesia water if you exclude the Navy
and Coast guards.
4. Everything is cheap, even our salaries…
5. We can blame everything to Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus
Dur or Megawati or who’s next?
6. Only in Indonesia you can get involved in real demonstrations
daily for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just
because IMF say so…
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause
haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing…
nyek nyek nyek.
9. We don’t need fire fighters as our neighbours will
provide…
Being
a Malaysian is the best because…
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti
canai, most expensive toll rates, …because Malaysia
Boleh!
2. We can be driving, picking our nose, cursing another
driver, talking on the handphone, adjusting the radio and
bribing the traffic police at the same time.
3. We divorce by sending SMS.
4. Traffic summon can be settled on the spot with the traffic
police.
5. We have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space
ship.
6. We can save a lot of electricity b’coz our TV shows
are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or
government or opposition parties or…
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van,
one to carry the ladder, one to change a street’s
bulb and three others watching…
9. We make 2 lane trunk roads into 3 lane highway and back
to 2 lane when polices are sighted
10. There’s always something for the JKR to do. They
dig, resurface the road, dig and resurface…
11. All main roads are designated highway because it gives
Velooo a reason to collect toll.
12. Our government can never be wrong.
13. Our badminton players can only win on home grounds because
we are kampung champions.
14. We have more water than Singapore… nyek nyek nyek.
After
reading the above, I believe you will agree with me that
being Malaysian is still the best. You have to be glad that
you are a Malaysian and enjoy staying in Malaysia!
*Disclaimer
The above is meant to be taken lightly and does not purposely
insult any party/country. Any resemblance to any party/country
dead or alive are purely coincidental!
http://www.hot-screensaver.com/2006/12/30/hongkies-singaporeans-indonesians-and-malaysians/
