HK-Singapore
Sibling rivalry
“Let’s all try and be a bit nastier to each other,” suggests HK humorist, Nury Vittachi.
Jul 15, 2008

Sibling rivalry is breaking out all over. But not between kids; between countries behaving like kids.

The latest war of words is between Hong Kong and Singapore.

Neighbourly feuding has a long and illustrious history in Asia. It’s been a particularly popular pastime for South Asian siblings—India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka.

The funny thing is that the rest of the world is convinced all the above are one country. If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me: “You’re from Sri Lanka — that’s part of India, right?” I would have two dollars. Maybe more.

Fortunately, those four nations have recently been expressing their hostility through cricket, a sport in which one needs every ounce of mental energy to deal with bizarre rules and terminology (one fielding position is called Silly Mid-On and you often hear suspicious, off-colour phrases such as “bowling a maiden over”).

Yet the squabbling South Asian family is a total love-fest compared to Taiwan and mainland China.

At regular intervals, China releases a statement saying: “Taiwan is an integral part of the Motherland, always has been and always will be,” and then shows the depths of its filial love by raining ballistic missiles into its neighbour’s waters. The message is clear: “We are family: die, scum.”

Now all parents know that the closer kids are, the worse the infighting is.

This is really true for Hong Kong and Singapore.

They’re not just sisters but identical twins. Both are city-states. Both have a colonial past and a Chuppie (Chinese yuppie) present. Both claim to be the busiest port in Asia. Both claim to have the best airport.

Both have more smart-phones than smart people. Both are pimples on the bottoms of larger countries.

The latest round of fighting broke out when a survey claimed Singapore citizens would be richer than Hong Kong’s. Hong Kong commentators sneered about the poverty of freedoms in Singapore.

In Internet chat rooms, one Hong Konger claimed Singapore was “one big, ugly housing estate” while another dubbed it “Stepfordpore”, a reference to a creepy story about a place populated by seemingly well-behaved zombies.

Singaporeans were outraged. The most creative response came from singers Katie Oh and Taz the Raz who wrote a song in Singlish mocking the fact that Hong Kong had failed to keep its colonial architecture: “Our old buildings are renewed, but theirs? Where got?!”

The song was emailed around the Internet and inevitably ended up on YouTube (look up “Singapore vs Hong Kong”). It comes with an invitation to respond, and horrified Hong Kongers have grabbed guitars to do so.

As someone who has lived in both cities, I feel it is my duty to do what I can to escalate this pointless, unnecessary, and highly enjoyable battle.

I have access to studios and cameras and will be happy to help anyone with songs, videos, poems, jokes, et cetera to keep the level of debate suitably low.

Some people will accuse me of merely looking for a cheap way to generate copy to fill this column, and my reply to them is: Yeah? So?

Sibling rivalry is one of the drivers of self-improvement, psychologists say. So let’s all try and be a bit nastier to each other.

Or in the Singlish words of Katie Oh: “Eskew me? Why you look at me lidat?”

http://misterjam.com/