Shanghai
Top university girl:
“I want to marry an American”
Jiaotong undergrad blogs about her distaste for Chinese men and desire to marry an American or European (even a Japanese or Korean) - stirring a hornet's nest. ChinaSMACK.
Nov 8, 2008

(Littlespeck - The following blog reproduced from a website allegedly written by a student from one of Shanghai's top universities, and the public responses to it.

{It could have been written many months ago, but revived on the Internet, still a timely subject.

(If it is genuine, the sentiments reflect a bit of today’s materialistic China and the uncertainties of at least a small segment of its educated generation about itself and the world at large.)

A Shanghai Jiaotong University
female’s views on marriage
I am a female student of Shanghai Jiaotong University. It’s my first time writing a post. Please don’t laugh at my bad writing.
Everyone has an ideal in life. Some wants to become a hero, some wants to become rich, some other desires to become a leader. So what about me? My greatest wish in life is to marry a Western1 man.
Some might say I am very vulgar, or even a turncoat, but I am a very traditional girl. To me, the most important thing in life is marriage.
There is a very trendy saying currently, that studying well is not as good as marrying well. Marrying the right man is more important than anything else.
Some might ask, “Are there not enough good men in China?” Sorry, I have not considered before. As for the reason, don’t be impatient. Sofa, stool, the floor, take your pick, and listen to this girl’s reasons one by one.

I. China does not have any men suitable for me.

I am a very distinct/outstanding girl. In terms of academics, I am studying at a famous university, have an excellent academic record, and I am not one who wears thick glasses or sticks her head into books like a high-IQ geek. I have an excellent figure, an amazing look and a cultivated style of conversation. I am the leader of the football [soccer] cheerleading team. I took part in the local beauty pageants many times. I also have an interest for music, dance and art. Additionally, I often write some gossips for the newspaper. In summary, I am an excellent girl in every aspect. But what kind of man should I marry? There are lots of boys who are pursuing me, and most of my friends have boyfriends as well.

But when they graduate, they either break up, or they start talking about marriage, about family matters and where to settle down. They talk so seriously about everything, expect for love which is the most important thing in a marriage. I am very passionate about my life, I wish to have both a excellent materialist and spiritual life. Sorry that I can’t find that on a Chinese man. Marry a schoolmate, eventually become a white collar in a company? Can that afford a house?

I want to have a huge living room, big enough to be like a small salon. I could be together with my friends talking about anything under the sun, savoring high quality wine. Even the bathroom must be big enough to fit in a large bathtub, for two people, so I can put on some gentle music and spend a romantic night with my beloved husband.

Also, the guy I marry must at least have enough money to buy a car, right? Or am I supposed to go to work by bus everyday? It is like in a freezer in winter, and in a microwave in summer, and within a few years a beautiful young girl will become a dark-skinned granny. Besides, are you guys really willing to let a white-collar beauty like me be pushed around by those dirty migrant workers?

China definitely does not lack rich men, but have a look at what kind of people they are. How many of them succeeded due to their own effort, ability or honesty? If they are not brick-moving labour contractors, then they are coal-digging boss from Shanxi, or they are corrupt. They are neither civilised, nor do they have a good bearing. How am I supposed to converse with them? To be honest, they will regard it as art if you are able to hum a few lines of pop music.

When they have money, they will go out eating, drinking, visiting prostitutes, or gambling. Just trying to live a peaceful life would be difficult. There are already people coming to the university to pursue me, extending their arms to give me business cards showing that they are some CEO, chairmen of the board, high-ranking bureaucrats, each of them wealthier and more arrogant than the other.

Some even directly suggest me to be their concubine. Oh my God! I may not be an exceptionally beautiful woman, but I am at least a young and beautiful girl, who worked very hard for years to get into a prestigious university, and I can only be a mistress?!

II. Western countries have better living conditions.

Even if a rich single guy, outstanding, elegant, and falls in love with me, hmph hmph, this girl [referring to self] still will not really want to marry him. To be blunt, I just want to marry into the West. The Western world I have seen in television and movies is simply like heaven: clean streets, elegant buildings, pure air. Regardless whether bustling cities or quiet villages, everything seems to be so peaceful and harmonious. Regardless their academic background, everyone is very polite.

Based on this MM’s [my] abilities, I could of course be a woman who lives in a villa, but so what? Even if we can afford a villa, can we buy clean air? Isn’t there dirt and dust everywhere in this country? The rural areas are better, but I don’t want to go there. Wouldn’t it be weird, if while I am sun-bathing in a bikini at my swimming pool a bunch of farmers outside the fence carrying baskets of dung stare at me? Tibet indeed has very pure air, but please, this girl is afraid of high attitude sickness.

I especially dislike the current living environment. Every home has anti-theft doors, and despite having lived in the same building for years, everyone is awkward every time they meet each other. Many people can’t even be bothered to bring their garbage downstairs, piling it up in front of the doors in the summer stinking.

Sometimes I even wonder whether I am not living together with a bunch of cavemen. Rice has poison, milk powder will result in big heads, pork is from floods, oil is from the ditches, just thinking about it makes me terrified.

Sorry, you want me to love you, give me a reason first? Don’t have any? Start loving foreign countries. The American “home town” [sic], France’s vinyards, Spanish coastal towns, British medieval villages, it could be any of those. One of my schoolmates went to study abroad in Canada, and brought his/her father there for half a year. and when he came back he would whine: “Ai, that [Canada] is really a place fit for people to live.” Don’t give me any excuses, if you want my love, you have to give me a reason, right?

The costs of living in China is too high. We spend like Americans and earn like Africans. My parents worked hard to send me to university, so I should repay them and take care of them right? Even I become a high-ranking white-collar, would the salary really be that high? My parents are getting old. If they become ill and hospitalised, what can I do about the excessively expensive medical bills? Western countries have universal health care. Especially the job market in China, there is nothing to be praised. Each time I see the over-crowded job fairs, I almost get a heart attack. Dear me! The job fairs are rather like WW2 Omaha Beach (Normandy on D-Day). I am a delicate girl, how can I squeeze through these smelly guys?

As a modern woman, the first task in life is to survive, study and get into university, find a job, save money for a house, and save money for retirement. Which one of these does not require slaving away? Isn’t it tiring? If my fellow schoolgirls did not become dark-skinned grannies after graduating, they found a rich person to marry, and allow their husbands to go out eating, drinking, visiting prostitutes, and gambling, pretending they do not know, why suffer?

III. Western boys are all very excellent.

Having said this much, that the environment is good, material things are good, this third point is what I value the most: I simply like Western men. Ever since I was small, I liked watching Western movies, such as Roman Holiday” or “Gone with the Wind,” and I liked watching the Westerners in the movies, their faces are all so sharp and distinctive, especially their charming coloured eyes, their straight pronounced noses, their tight smooth lips.

Moreover, the majority of Westerners are tall, have strong and handsome physiques, and always so sexy. Then I look at the Chinese guys around me: Ignoring the small eyes, they have lumpy noses, thick lips, and if their skin is tanned a bit, they look remarkably like Africans. Those who have been educated almost all look malnourished, making me worried whether they can protect me or not. Occasionally, there is a muscular man, but despite having grown a head, they did not grow a brain.

Many college guys are pursuing me, and other guys in society also often ask me out on dates, but there are not many I like. Each of them either look like a soy sprout, or like Ultraman [character from a Japanese TV show], each of them unkempt, and at minimum each of them do not pay attention to their own image. Many of the guys spit in public, I particularly dislike people who do this. Only little children and animals defecate and urinate everywhere, and spitting in public is not much better than defecating and urinating in public, so at most they count only as half-civilised.

The majority of Western men carry themselves elegantly and well, because they received good education from when they were small. In our city there are McDonald’s and KFC restaurants, and I often go there with friends to eat. All the Western men in the restaurants seem to have good upbringing, opening doors for others to enter first. Chinese guys, the moment the door opens, they rush towards the counter, often colliding with people exiting, as if they were the reincarnation of someone who starved to death in their last life. The Westerners1 who enter all stand in line, Chinese men rush up in a crowd, surrounding the counter shouting their orders. as if they haven’t eaten any food in a long time. And without being ashamed, they throw their trash wherever after eating, but those Westerners would fold up the waste paper in their trays, making it convenient to dispose, and what they haven’t finished, they throw go dispose of in the wastebins by themselves. The two are simply are not the same level of people.

Furthermore, some Chinese men lack a sense of independence, only knowing how to revolve around girls, living like a super nanny. I feel they don’t have a self, sticking their thoughts on girls all day. Getting on the bus, they scramble for a seat, then busy themselves trying to give it to a girl, not caring about the elderly or children beside them, that I am embarrassed to sit down. This kind of men I also look down upon, revolving around their girlfriends before marriage, revolving around their wives after marriage, revolving around their bosses at work, and revolving around the kitchen after work. No thoughts, no temper, my god, I would be afraid of the son I have with this man being like his father, a model citizen so obviously cultivated by an authoritarian country. What girl does not like a man with personality and courage?

Western men were all raised in an environment of independence. They have independent thinking, not like Chinese men, who are parrots. Take my schoolmates for example. When the government talks about Japan and China’s good bilateral relationships, they like Japan. When the government promotes nationalism, they shout about attacking Japan. Each and every one of them are brainless, played like monkeys by others, yet still thinking themselves to be high and mighty. The whole lot of them a bunch of “pig headed men.”

There are some things I cannot say in real life, so I can only say them online.
--
In summary, I simply want to marry a Westerner, at best an American, but European is not bad either. As for criteria…I am not very demanding, it is no big deal even if his education is lower than mine, and no specific requirements about his work…isn’t the monthly salary for washing dishes at McDonald’s over a thousand USD? This can still allow him to buy a car and house. If this isn’t possible, I will just find a divorced man and be willing to be a stepmother.

Besides, Western children have a strong sense of independence, at least they will not let me always clean up after them and cater to their every whim, right?

If even this is not possible, Japanese or Korean men I would also consider, I would even consider marrying a Korean or Japanese. At worst, they will not cook for me. No matter what, I just want to leave the country and go to the West, if not for freedom then for money.

I admit I am very worldly, but I don’t consider my thinking to be wrong. I am not hurting other people, I just want to live a better life, whether it is materially or culturally. I watched an American show “Desperate Housewives.” That quiet village, clean streets, green lawns, and elegant, polite neighbours, and I knew, that is the kind of life I want. (END)

Readers comments (excerpts)

ZQ
This sentiment (and fallacy) is become more and more common… within the subconscious of the Chinese lady sits a dream of western sex and riches… which often results in disappointment and divorce. Wake up and live… from a western man.

Ms_Chief
If she is so great, then perhaps she should get to the Western world on her own merits rather than whoreing herself to some sad horny old yellow-fevered-up loser who happens to have opened a door for her. This girl is such a snob and should show more respect towards her own culture and race.
It’s actually quite sad that she truly believes all Westerners live like the Desperate Housewives. It’s like Westerners believing that all Chinese are scholarly, live in giant houses with courtyards, all elaborately dressed, can fly and can kick arse.
How can someone supposed to be intelligent be so deluded? Some basic education should have taught her that although wages in Western countries are higher on paper, the cost of living is also proportionally higher. The average McDonald’s worker won’t be able to get a mortgage for a house with a big lounge, bathtub for two plus a car on their wages...
..One of the things I hate most about the Chinese today, which they seem to have caught from the West, is the rampant consumerism of which she seems to have been caught by, hook line & sinker.
She is the ice salesman’s eskimo. It’s sad that people waste so much time and effort, and make themselves miserable by wanting so much useless sh!t.

Rick in China
She’s a university student. She doesn’t know who she herself is yet - let alone what’s important in life - let alone how used up and loose she’ll be by the time her materialism-based search for “marrying an American” is in full swing:)
Then she’ll reconsider, and realise that men are men - everywhere - and she’ll have to change her attitude significantly before finding a man of any race who is of any quality and finds her interesting.

Anonymerican
My first reaction is…what an idiot. She disses her own people due to a fantasy that a Western man can provide her dream. What is her value? She wants to sit in her parlor like living room and wile away the day chatting with friends? She has just been labelled as the atypical negative stereotype of a Chinese gold-digging girl.
Her education seems to be a joke. No morals, no humility, no IQ. Maybe she can catch some English teachers fancy at a KTV lounge…
a western man

SniperWZ
Thinly veiled social critique, but it does have some very valid points about contemporary life in China; what she dislikes about Chinese men seems to be centered on their materialism and me-only selfishness/lack of social etiquette, yet she is guilty of materialism herself.
This toadying attitude toward the West was probably more prevalent in the 1990’s, but today, I think the myth and illusion has largely worn off…

Ann
Everyone must have dreams, that’s the difference between the Mao period and China of today. People who have dreams and hopes are happier. She sounds like a young woman feeling lost as she faces some life changing decisions upon her graduation.
That is called life’s stages, from total dependence, to self-reliance and expressions, to marriage and responsibilities with ones’ own familiy, to old age. So, good for her for asking herself some questions - what does she want and where does she go from here.
A glass house. What she wrote is a common secret desire for many Chinese. She just articulated them for you.

RnM
I admire the fact she’s saying what many people won’t say about materialism in life. It’s a brutally honest reflection on society, nevertheless I think she needs to adopt a more pragmatic attitude if she’s going to find a man.

Veer Left
Very heartfelt lamentation from this young female. Unfortunately, that if it is heartfelt and not a hoax created to stir up a backlash against intercultural relationships… It is also very sad!
All I see, as a westerner (albeit a dark one…haa) is a very easy target. Show a bit of cash… some wild ‘new’ ideas, and bam! Sleep with her.
Newsflash to this girl. Western guys aren’t stupid either. They see your weakness and will exploit it to the same degree that you would exploit them for their greencard, social constructs etc.
I am totally disgusted and amazed by the amount of open racism and latent self-loathing that permeates her every sentence.
Freud would have a field day with this bitch.

Hawaiian-chinese
What’s up with Chinese girls and the western addiction, hell myself have a china addiction, came from shanghai… now gotten bored with the states and wants to go back to the mother land. But girls with this type of mentality is just too damn common in Shanghai, married off to a westerner get out of the country earn a US or any other western citizenship; divorce. then find another rich man too live off of. Sad … just Sad.

Eric Wong
I am a Singaporean of Chinese descent who have travelled to the West as well as to China and other parts of Asia. I speak both Chinese (Mandarin and Cantonese, and some Fujianese) as well as English.
I think the writer’s view and conception of the West is totally flawed. If the folks in the movie business in China were to shoot their scenes in the hundreds and hundreds of scenic spots in China, it will project China as a clean and green place, just like those scenes she saw on American movies.
Her misguided thinking is a result of her not having been to the West, and seen what Hollywood or even the Hong Kong movie directors will not show. (Go to Hong Kong and see for yourself that it is not what you see in Hong Kong dramas…ditto for USA)
It is also not true that Western men are more cultivated or independent. They also visit prostitutes and many of them who come to China to work are doing precisely that..but they also visit prostitutes in their own countries, eh?
It is really sad to see that there are many more Chinese girls who think like the writer, and who throw themselves into these men. After a few years, these men leave for home (and by the way, many of them have wives and children back home) and the poor Chinese girls are simply left behind.
I have myself met many good Chinese men. It may be true their difficult past have brought forward some undesirable attributes, but these will take time to change.
Incidentally, being conversant in both languages (and culture), my opinion is that the Chinese language is more beautiful, and it is sad to see that the writer, coming from a good Chinese university, cannot appreciate what a rich culture China has, choosing instead to worship almost everything western.

Josh
I agree with the view that this girl is somewhat naive about Western guys (and I am one). And she does seem very shallow. She does raise two valid points.
One, her reference to not being able to sunbathe without a bunch of dung farmers staring is true.- I’ve accepted that China is not Italy or Brazil, but nevertheless I look forward to the day when Chinese popular society becomes better at just letting other enjoy themselves.
She’s right - ordinary life in China is rarely pleasant in the private, self-indulgent way (without a lot of money) that one finds in the West.
Second, yes, Western guys can be just as bad as other guys, but Chinese guys, for the most part need to get a clue.
I’ve lived in China for 3 years, and I hate to say it, but Chinese guys need a lot of work. I blame an adolescence that’s 100% studying - no sports, no work, etc. They seem almost entirely to be either extremely socially awkward around women or excessively chauvinistic and ignorant.
I’m sorry, but there’s no other way to put it. The nice ones are awkward and the rest are just - well, if you’ve lived there, you know.
(Nevermind the rich “little emperors” who are the worst - it’s ridiculous being macho and assertive when you’re 5'4? and have arms the size of a gear shift. Sweet and nice, if you’re that guy, is your only bet. Leave the swaggering machismo to African and Latino guys) I have hope that this will change one day.

Ann
Whoa, the vitriol on this young lady. I have lived long enough to understand life stages and changing perspectives. She is dreamy being 22.
Some of her complaints about China are valid but her idealistic West is not. She has the courage to reveal herself completely, her dreams, her fears and her uncertainty, being 22. Don’t we all go through our youths feeling lost at one point or another?
Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side. But, pollution and unhygenic conditons in China is head spinning and stomach turning. Who would want to live in such environment?
The lack of civility in public in China makes life so much harder than it already is. Why can’t Chinese stop spitting, public defecating and urinating, trashing public places, shoving and pushing, loudness in speech. Chinese men can learn to be more intuned to women’s desires: improve your grooming and wear clean clothes. (Opening doors and pulling out chairs for women is not part of Chinese etiquette for men, don’t try because the men would end up looking awkward.) Find an interesting conversation on movie, books, art, music to share. Show your confidence and have a sense of humour. But, don’t brag about your achievement or your money.
I am writing as a Chinese American married to a White man for 20 odd years. We find our differences a challenge as well as enriching. It takes a lot of patience and empathy to overcome misunderstandings. We live a modest but rich life in America. Money is utility for basic needs. Happiness is not about how much we have, but how much we discover.

Chris
I recognise this type of girl from my university classes. Somebody above talked about Chinese boys needing to have more of a life during their teenage years - I agre 100% with that. But this girl also needed to have more of a life during her teenage years.
She is very idealistic, which is a great thing, but she is going to end up sorely disappointed when she fails to meet one of the 5% of guys who actually meets her ideal.
The Chinese education system has a lot of blame to take for this, for not helping Chinese kids think critically and and a self-aware fashion.

Unatachedinshanghai
This poor girl, lost about life elsewhere. But do we not all have the same trouble. I read here and elsewhere constantly about not lowering one’s self or poor people. Writing your true feelings, those kept hidden inside in a nameless blog is harmless at best.
Why so much uproar because most of it is true. I am from Australia, live in Shanghai, work in Shanghai and play here.
I hate nothing more than standing fifth in a line to suddenly have a dozen if not 50 bloody people push their way in front, but not just men girls also, more likely.
But that's China and you take the good with the bad. I find this girls comments amazing where can I meet nice well educated Chinese girls?
I only ever come apon girls looking for their next job or someone out to make a quick buck, all get turned away. I was working here on off met a girl and came to China looking to marry my love of several years, but one visit to the mother and it was all over, not Chinese not good enough.
We all have a rating and a list of requirements, just most of us are tactfull about how we order from the menu. Give the girl a break.

Josh
This might give some balance to a part of the debate. http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=505720
Harvard Med School research indicating that Western men are more obsessed with muscular images than Taiwanese men.
“American, Austrian, and French men thought women would prefer men who were 20 to 30 pounds more muscular than average. Taiwanese men described an ideal man who was only 10 pounds more muscular than average.”
“If you think back to the Olympics, Greek or Roman sculptures, or about Norse gods, Western culture has traditionally associated muscularity with masculinity,” said Yang. “In China, Confucius — when he wrote about the ideal gentleman — placed more value on literary ability and cultural attainment.”
Leads to body image issues and steroid abuse, problems which don’t exist much outside the West. Just food for thought.

freshginger
I am a Chinese girl who lives in the US since I was 17… Now I am 26. I feel so sad to read this post. Admittedly, there are things in her message that are true, like guys spitting in public. When I see those things, I feel disgusted, and I want to leave asap. And often, I wonder, how I can enjoy my life in China if one day I do go back there….and can I find a husband in China?
China is my country… and when I see things I don’t like in my own country… my first instinct is ..how do we improve the situation.
I have dated American, European and Chinese. They are all good guys with differences… However, I’d like to think that these differences are not country specific…they are simply different human beings..
She presented herself as an ignorant girl in this post. I don’t blame her….She is part of the China phenomenon, and she is brave enough to tell the truth..
Every society has it’s own problems, as Chinese, we don’t have to like the problems but we should love our country and its people.

SanityWhat
LOL… Yeah. This is typical Chinese thinking…The west if paved in gold…
I hope the US embassy will read this and be moved and let her emigrate to the States… I can then finally find myself a hot wife, for cheap. She can marry a Mexican dishwasher.

Ann
This blog is mostly from guys who get their fix from attacking a dreamy young woman to boost their own self-esteem, calling her the worst degrading names, the equivalent of which I would not considering using on men). While her idealistic West is not the complete picture of Western society, it is at least more than half true. I supoose Chinese guys can never tolerate a liberated woman. This is nothing new in Chinese society, is it?
It is no wonder more educated Chinese women prefer to stay unmarried. At the rates are going in China where boys are favoured over girls, many of the men will find themselves without wifes. May be they will to change their tune and their attitude.
I am writing as a disgusted, liberated Chinese woman living in the West.

Kai
To me, she sounded very “imploring” and “dreamy,” amongst other things, including “arrogant.” The “I’m so much better than this and I deserve so much better than the rest of you” comes from the parts where she rhetorically asks if they would want her to lower herself to riding the bus or participating in a career fair.
We can call her “naive” if that’s an euphemism for “ignorant.” For someone who is in Jiaotong University, veritably one of China’s better higher institutions of learning veritably populated by some of China’s brightest and someone who is adept enough at lurking on the internet, there’s very little excuse for her to not have SOME inkling of the West not being so rosy for her to at least have qualified or balanced her essay of “the West is perfect.”
My point here is that there is a point where one’s stupidity DESERVES contempt and ridicule. She crossed that line.

Bopomofo
This lady knows what she likes. But what she likes may not necessarily be true. Her perceptions are her own not necessarily that of reality.
She’s observant in that a lot of Chinese men (not all) are rather less cultured in the finer arts of manner and etiquette.
Now mind you it’s a generational issue rather than the country as a whole. Most of the children from parents of the Cultural Revolution have been brought up in a society void of social norms and expectations.
A society that is void of rules of etiquette, proper public manners and other forms of behavior that seem (on the surface) to be very utopian to the average Chinese but ubiquitous in western society.
In the West, society reinforces chivalry and other values that respect the fairer sex. We can talk ad nauseam about the differences but she is very condescending in reference to all Chinese men when she clearly is limited to her microcosm of University life and social circles.
There are clearly elegant Chinese men who are well-mannered, chivalrous, thoughtful, independent, respectful, educated, humorous, creative, generous and so on. However usually they tend to be older men. Older men who are worldly, who are cultured, who have travelled and who have been to the West and know differently.
This woman is clearly misguided and prejudiced against her fellow Chinese man. She aspires to things all people want and, that is — to live a full and happy life. She just can’t seem to find it in Shanghai. She shouldn’t be scolded about her opinion. Pity might be a better choice.

Ann
Firstly, I have no intention of making this young woman a poster child of woman’s lib. But Chinese society is still very much mired in the old tradtion of favoring boys, thus men.
When women find themselves always at a disadvantage, they will either subcome to the system by taking on the role of the passive and submissive female plus a new social expectation of being a sex toy for men; or they can stand up on their own two feet with lesser expectation in material wants but greater self-pride and satisfaction. Additionally, because China has been poor for so long and with the present dynamic economic development and growth of consumerism in China, this sequence of social change makes for a very difficult choice for men and women in China.
Should one be straight and honest or to get rich quick by hook or by crook? This young woman wishes for a quick easy glamorous life, while men wish for a get rich quick scheme. So, what’s the difference?
Is it a fair game to hurl such names on a young woman who simply expressed her desire for escape in the form of pointing out the negative social conditions in China?

Fuller
We all come from monkeys! Excuse me while I go eat my banana.

yining
I live abroad and I know at least one girl like who thought like that. Her goal was to marry a foreigner and she succeeded, but now they are divorced and she’s a single mom. Western men don’t expect to have to support women any more.
I mean, seriously, this a society where splitting the bill for everything from restaurant meals to mortages to groceries is common. She’s deluded if she thinks a western man is her ticket to an easy life.

Panshaw
The living conditions are pretty good in the US. As far as the men in China are concerned, they seem to always relies on there parents for everything. I think that kind of lifestyle can turn off a lot of women. Maybe she SHOULD find a western boyfriend.

TaiIn
if this article is even true….then she’s in for a rude awaking.
Western boys are ALL excellent…. Western countries have better living conditions. Sure… am sure her Mcdonald’s worker boyfriend will make sure all those headlines are true.
Man, where is she getting all these bunch of crock?

Raye
Apparently it seems she has never lived in a western country before. All her opinions were based off of what she has seen from the media. Well, in every country; there are both good and bad men.
In America, most men you meet are as bad as the ones in Asia. They may be a bit more tolerant, but still do the same things. The average American man would definitely not fit in her ideas of how an American man would be like. Not all of them have manners, not all are respectful to others, and not all act like the ways you would see from the media.
Also, in most American marriages, couples separate their wealth from one another. When they go out to dinner, most of the time, they pay separately. Even though American people make a lot of money, and when that sum is converted to RMB, it seems a lot. Well, they aren’t as rich as they seem to be.
Over half the American population do not live luxurious lives in big, fancy, comfortable houses.
The children in America would be just as bad as the children born in Asia. They have more things they don’t need to work for. American children are more spoiled, more demanding, and can be just as bad as kids of any other country there is.
I have met an Asian women lucky enough to marry a decent American man. Her life is pretty good. Her home is in a nice neighborhood. Her closet is filled with designer brands. She can go shopping every weekend. But, she works for her own money that she sends home to her parents in China.
And there aren’t enough of those men to go around. It seems that nowadays, the population of decent men and/or women are dramatically decreasing.
Good luck on a fairy tale life.

Tuttle
“I am an excellent girl in every aspect.”
No way, ’cause you think no end of yourself. A cultivated women is not so overweening. You are yourself a part of what you criticise.

betrue
I don’t even want to read the whole article. She is so shallow, so lost...
Being a chinese woman who married to a foreigner for five years, my advice is - as a Chinese girl, you probably need to be even more stronger and indepent to marry to westerner.
In lot way, chinese man are much more caring and take more financial responsiblities of the family. However, I do enjoy the my relationship, my husband respect who I am and my independence.

Ron
Ah, she is so disillusioned with all these tvs and movies. I live in Australia, its not like that at all. We don't always have clean street etc. It all depends on where you live. In terms of income, I mean seriously, getting US$1,000 will not allow that poor bloke a means to live the way you want.
No point telling you all these, you will not believe me anyway. DO what you think is right, perhaps one day you will realise its not about the materials you got around you, its about how that one person that you love is treating you, how he tries to make your life better etc.

Singapore Girl
Funny. I am a Singapore girl and I don’t have strong opinion about Singapore men although I know a lot of Chinese girls like to come to Singapore for our men.
Like you I think Western men are generous and thoughtful.

Smickno
It is true that Singaporean men prefer Chinese girls to Singaporean girls. Based on what I’ve been told, Singaporean women expect men to carry their handbags, open doors for them and the like, while expecting equality, whatever that means.
It is an absolute contradiction. Singaporean women want to prove that they are independent, strong, and clever (too clever by half, though) while expecting the men to treat them like the weaker sex, when it is to their benefit.
Interestingly, Singaporean girls treat American/European man like their ancestors, almost as if they are with God.
Singaporean men also prefer Chinese girls because they are more family-oriented. They are much more able to bring warmth and love to the family, unlike the chauvinistic Singaporean women who are selfish, self-centred and egoistic.
It is no wonder that the international community working and residing in China are attracted to the Chinese women, and not to the large number of Singaporean women there for the picking. Sad sad. They aren’t desirable both at home and abroad. No wonder, for half a dime, they offer themselves to the ‘western men’ lah.
Now, I have seen not a few marriages between American/European men and Singaporean women ending up in divorce in the most acrimonious way.
So, like that fictitious Chinese girl, I’d say to Singaporean women who are dreaming, to dream on. Your saying that ‘western men are generous and thoughtful’ betrays your ignorance about the west, not far off that of the fictitious Chinese girl here.

Melissa (westerner)
This is a ridiculous post. She says she wants “love,” yet all her stipulations on love involve materialistic things. Sorry, it’s the same story everywhere… you’d just be jumping into another country’s frying pan. Money corrupts individuals just the same as anywhere else.
Western men with money visit prostitutes, go drink, go gambling, treat women like crap, just like the rest of them. My advice: LOOK FOR LOVE, NOT MONEY. Money is temporary, and good men with money know this. They’re not looking to invest in a liquidated asset (a woman who wont love them if the money is gone). They’re looking for someone who will stay no matter what (OR, they’re looking for arm candy which will turn into the flavor of the week).
Western men are more generous than others maybe, because our culture values generosity. BUT, they are the same in marriage as everyone else. You aren’t going to get anything different.

Emma
Hey, girl:
I rang the University of Jiaotong, they told me they don’t have any formal or even unformal soccer/football cheer team. So… I wonder if you are real cheer leader of that uni.
Sorry, I am from a magazine, we want to get an interview with you, so I call the university. If ok, would you pls leave me a message or send me an email:emmachi@asia-city.com.cn

Crystal
I’m a Canadian citizen currently attending university on the West Coast. I immigrated nine years ago.
This girl has a very idealised image of Western life. What she has seen and heard in movies and commercials represent less than one fraction of North American culture.

JLIN
What a shame to the chinese ethnicity. She may go to Jiaotong University but her ways if thinking is nothing better than SH-T.
I live in America and there are tons of useless and stupid here as much as there are in China. Men everywhere are the same. You can only find the perfect one if you take the effort to find your match.

John
The substance of this girl’s post was not meant to disparage the physical aspects of life in China. She was lamenting on the mental aspects, or the approach towards life, in China, where for example, people spit without thinking twice. It’s not the physical aspect of spitting, but the attitude towards spitting, and she loathes this attitude of “I don’t care if the streets are clean, I’m going to spit anyways because who cares?” This attitude is pervasive in chinese people. Yes, very selfish of them, but that’s the way they are.
My point is that rather than her wasting time chasing dreams of “the grass is greener on the other side,” this girl should be realistic and understand that she has a hot body, meaning she owns a potentially productive asset that can generate very high income in the short-run. She should put this asset to use. Her body will not be hot forever. Of course, the trick is to learn to save her money when the cash comes rolling in.

http://www.chinasmack.com/stories/china-does-not-have-any-men-suitable-for-me/