Population
Love and marriage
Romancing Singapore to boost Singaporeans' love life. By Seah Chiang Nee
Mar 3, 2003

DURING the past month if you had gone to the movies in Singapore, you'd probably have been serenaded on-screen by a group singing the song Little Things. It happened at every show, every day, for the whole of February.

And outside, at the nearest bookshop, you might find - amid newspaper headlines of an impending war - an eight-page official guidebook entitled When Boy Meets Girl! The Chemistry Guide.

It teaches busy engineers and IT nerds how to court a girl, where to go and what to do on a date.

In between reports on terrorism and the latest mass retrenchments, the TV, radio and newspapers were running stories that centred on two words Romancing Singapore (of which Little Things was the theme song).

With marriage and procreation down to record lows, the government launched this month-long campaign (without labelling it a campaign) to encourage people to fall in love, marry and start families.

Instead, it was called Romancing Singapore, coinciding with Valentine's Day. Private sponsors offered discounted candlelight dinners, spa packages and weekend getaways for couples.

"In this day and age, it is so easy for us to get totally immersed in our fast-paced lifestyles and neglect our relationships," said the festival's official website. "We hope to provide a climate for everyone to celebrate and cherish relationships."

Unfortunately, the timing was poor. War clouds over Iraq and several major retrenchments of some 2000 workers had cast a pall of gloom over the country.

The bad news was enough to douse even the strongest romantic ardour anywhere. People are just too worried about the prospect of more job losses to talk of love.

Recent statistics made the effort necessary. The number of births in Singapore last year fell to a 14-year low at 40,800 - one of the lowest in Asia.

This is far below the birth rate needed to replace the population, raising Singapore's dependence on foreign labour and prospect of a fast-ageing population and higher welfare costs.

The falling birth rate is not only an economic but also security crisis. Since national service began, the annual intake of recruits has fallen by more than 25%. This has led to recent calls to include women in the service, albeit for a shorter time.

The future is not too promising either. Marriages are down 2% and the proportion of single people above 35 years has jumped from 18.7% to 30.3% compared to a decade ago. Singapore is, in fact, following the trend of the developed world with declining fertility and declining marriage.

Living in a tiny state without natural resources, Singaporeans face an expensive, highly competitive life that is generally tougher than in many other modern cities. It is becoming less conducive for romance.

According to Dr Wei Siang Yu, a self-styled "sex guru" who provides fertility advice to childless couples, Singaporeans find it difficult to show their feelings because society is too competitive and the population density so high.

"You're not supposed to be soft," he told a reporter. "Everything is supposed to be regimented.

"Family ties are very strong, and most young people move out only when they get married. So how am I going to have sex? How am I going to bring a girl home?"

Worried about rising numbers of single professionals, the government set up the Social Development Unit, a match-making service, in 1984. It matches degree-holders who have little time - or aptitude - for finding romance.

It has another arm, the Social Development Unit (SDU), which caters to singles with no post-secondary education.

In April 2001, the government started a programme to encourage couples to have two or more children by offering a "baby bonus" package of financial and educational incentives.

It is even worried about failing courtship. The authorities last year brought up a small booklet to give hints about it.

"Smiling is a great way to break the ice, but don't grin like a Cheshire cat the whole time," it says.

"A date is very similar to a job interview. You have to sell yourself. People are drawn to good listeners. But don't just sit there passively; engage whomever you are with." Dining, love cruises and exercise sessions are organised for the SDU's 20,000 members.

The Premier Club has also put together events like "Speed Dating" and "Blind Dates." In speed dating, couples have seven minutes to get to know one another before they move on to the next person.

So far it has held 130 sessions, and about three out of four singles leave with at least one match, according to one report. A participant in her early 30s dated three men she had met through speed dating.

"Some of these first impressions were quite accurate," she said.

She has also taken part in "Zodiac Dates," in which singles with compatible horoscopes meet over tea and joined a group trip to Malaysia. But she is still looking for a permanent partner.

Old-timers who remember chasing after girls by themselves some 30 years ago may scoff at such activities, but - like Romancing Singapore - they are needed in modern Singapore.

Finding love isn't easy in this workaholic society.

Almost half of Singaporeans do not have a love life because of the pressures of work, according to a recent online survey.

Done by Yahoo Southeast Asia, it showed 43% of Singaporeans feel that their love life "doesn't exist," 26% think it could be better and 30% said it was going great.

"Apparently, finding love isn't easy in Singapore," said Niren Ho, its general manager. "Singaporeans are too busy at work to find love."

In the poll, 37% said they would have had a love life if they had less work. Males also fell short in the area of romance, with 48% saying they cannot define its meaning while 47% are pragmatic but still full of surprises, according to the survey.

Among females, a man's wit and humour (41%) far outweighed a great body (7%), a platinum credit card (24%) or a big heart (26%), said the survey.

Not everyone is grateful for the government efforts to improve their love life. Some, in fact, want it to leave their personal lives alone.
By Seah Chiang Nee